Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The ins and outs

Perhaps I should begin by saying that I don't usually put up reviews lest I impose my views on the unsuspecting populace. Setting aside the fact that the said populace usually counts in the single digits, principles are principles. Now, however, I shall make an exception. My currents thoughts on one book and and one film have been around for some time. I shall now put them forth.

The Anthology of the fake Potters

Harry Potter, the series, has been around for some time. Many many reviews have been written and quoted in various articles. This series has been seminal in the amount of mass hysteria it had managed to create. That aside, here I intend to shine a tiny light on a very ignored facet of this media circus. The Fake Harry Potters.

All this media exposure has brought into light, I think for me at least, the very questionable writing and story-telling skills of the author of the original Harry Potter series. Many thoughts have been put down by others on this matter, so, I shall refrain from stepping into that arena. I now shall take you through my experiences of reading the many fake books of the Harry Potter series. These are not the many parodies that have been written. These are what the masses call "fan novels". The books written by people who are not J K Rowling carrying the same title as the original books.

In my opinion, a few of these books have better writing and more compelling a story that the originals. Speaking particularly on the seventh and hopefully the last in the series, one fake novel in particular had a much better story that the original. The plot of the book was simpler and explained the mysteries of the previous six book in much simpler scenarios. No far fetched objects of mystery. No out of this world, perhaps even out of the magical world, explanations for the happenings of the previous books. In fact, I seriously wish that this book was the original and not that disaster of a story that is actually the original. This book I speak of begins with the chapter titled "Secrets Unraveled". Do read it if you get the chance. After reading this one, I almost wish that I hadn't read the original.

Before time, there was the Cube

Yes. The Cube. That's right. Please feel free to express utter incredulity and amusement at this line. Once upon a time, in the creative depths of Hollywood, there was made a movie called The Transformers. That movie, which began with the line, "Before time, there was the Cube" narrated in the usual movie trailer voice, was released upon the innocent masses.

The Cube? Really? Couldn't the makers of the movie who spent copious money think of something better? Perhaps this is the dawn of a new era, an era of movies best described as a sort of visual pornography. Let's list the similarities between this movie and run-of-the-mill B-grade pornography, shall we? In B-grade pornographies, they have sex just because they can. In this movie they have eye-popping visual effects just because they can. In the B-grade pornographies, the plot is irrelevant. In this movie, the plot is irrelevant. The plot is just an instrument to make the movie last 90 minutes. Truly speaking, this movie had a cornier plot line and cornier dialogues than most B-grade pornographies.

The story consisted of giant robots from outer space fighting, threatening to destroy the cities of the Earth in the process. The chief villain in question is called "Megatron" and the robot species are called "AutoBots". What were they on when they came up with these names? This is straight from those Japanese serials about giant robots from the early 90's we used to watch eagerly. And the cube, that which existed before time, is responsible for everything for it was the font of all life, and Megatron seeks it to become all powerful. For the love of God people, please don't make the mistake of watching this absurdity and wasting good money.

Now that my views have been imposed the unsuspecting populace, I hope they make of it what ever they will.

1 comment:

Arvind Krishna said...

I have somehow stayed away from everything you have mentioned on your list.

Yes, I admit it. I haven't read any of the Harry Potters.